Just as promised, Demiurgers arrived at work on Monday morning donning freshly grown mustaches, for our annual Xmas Xmustache competition. As Alex put it before our holiday break, “The rules are simple: Show up January 3rd with the most kickass mustache you can grow. Last year's contest was the closest we've ever had: Dan brought artistry back to the competition with his entry 'Dirtbag in Paradise' but in the end Nick and Jared tied for the victory with their dueling mugshots.”
As always, mustaches will be judged according to the official rules laid out by the World Beard and Moustache Championships. Alex's annual Q&A can be found at the bottom of this post, for further clarification. We will announce a winner once Demiurgers have had enough time to ponder the fabulous photos below, evidence of the hard work and expertise necessary to create these works of facial hair art.
Frequently Asked Questions by Alex Rice:
Q: What do I tell my family when they ask why I have a moustache for the family Christmas picture?
A: "I'm considering moving to Brooklyn and I was afraid my face wasn't ironic enough" "I'm trying out for a community theater production of 'Magnum PI: The Musical'" "This anti-moustache sentiment is all part of the liberal war on Christmas. Go back to Russia, commie!"
Q: If I grow a moustache, can I finally wear my "Free Moustache Rides" trucker hat without feeling lame?
A: Yep, now it will just be creepy...
Q: Do you have any advice on growing a moustache?
A: Step 1 - Man Up. If you are unable or unwilling to do that, follow this helpful guide.
Q: What will the terrorists do if I don't grow a moustache?
In addition to the pure joy one gets from wearing a moustache, the winner of this competition will receive eternal glory in the annals of Demiurge, the admiration of hipsters everywhere, and an incredible prize yet to be named.